Working out the details

This week has been busy with Dan's work, baby prep, and keeping the house/kid stuff running smoothly. We successfully transferred ownership of the CR-V to my in-laws, although we had to make it technically a "sale" since we were missing a piece of paperwork that still hasn't arrived. The visit is short, but we'll see them again when the baby comes.

I will be 37 weeks on Sunday, which is considered full-term. She's active and certainly trying to make enough room without much success. We are all looking forward to having her here, and I've been sorting through there details this week. I wrote up instructions for short-term caregivers who will help out until Dan's mom gets here, and I wrote an email to the boys' teachers detailing our plans and asking them to call my cell if anything is unclear. I wrote my birth plan, aka "leave me alone until I hit transition, then get the doc here now" plan, and I still need to write out instructions for my MIL so that she doesn't worry about doing something that I won't like. Honestly, nothing she'll do will be a problem, but it will help her feel at ease to know my preferences. We've known each other long enough for her to know that I'm particular about how I do things, and she wants to honor that. I've known her long enough to of course trust her, but I know she wants to try to do things my way in my house. I appreciate that! I will have to get some paper towels because not having them will probably gross her out. I'll have to label my homemade cleaning supplies so she knows what they're for, and I'm going to get some pull-ups for Mara who will certainly be regressing then since she is now.

My to-do list remains daunting. The crib still isn't put back to infant mode. The kids' rooms, the LR, the bathroom, and the kitchen still need paint. The painting is leftover stuff that we should've done after the move, but it seems more urgent now that I'm nesting! We need a bassinet, a soft carrier to wear the baby in, and a changing table. The gear will come along at some point, but it leaves me anxious not to have things settled. God provides so abundantly for our needs that I know it'll all work out in time.

The biggest struggle is that we had no idea how busy this semester would become. Dan is presenting a paper in California in November, his department is reviewing its curriculum, they're hiring someone new, he has 4 classes of nearly 100 students total, he has faculty meetings and just other random events to show up for. It's a lot. And yet he manages to be so sweet and helpful at home. He's amazing. For me to work or go to school would be nearly impossible. I'm definitely in the right place for this point in our lives.

Stub of a post I started writing days ago

"This week is off to a rough start with me being 36 weeks pregnant, rainy weather, seasonal depression making its debut right on time (Oct and Feb for about 20 years now), M having potty regression before the baby comes, and the Jedis ha

ving 2 days off school. Today is an election day, and yesterday was an in-service day. Not sure why there is no school on election day since I'm certainly not going to haul my minions out to vote in my condition.

I've been grumpy for days. I'm getting plenty of sleep, but the extra chaos combined with my hormonal agitation is making it a rough week all around. The Jedis will return to school tomorrow, and I'll be able to finish up some things on my pre-baby list."

What a difference a few days and some sunshine make! It's Friday, and I'm looking forward to a weekend with my loves.

Malarkey

This week is humming along after a rough weekend with behavior. M has been getting pretty manipulative and crying a lot, but she also has 3-4 teeth coming in. Typical interaction?

M, put your panties on.
I have to go potty.
So go, please.
I have to watch Blues Clues.
No, you have to obey your mommy. Put your panties on.
I have to go potty.
So go.
I'm hungry.
So put your panties on and go eat the snack you didn't finish.
I want cheese.
No, you have a muffin that you only nibbled. Eat your muffin.
I have to go potty.
So go.
I want my little potty chair.
Nope, it's messy. I put it away. Use the big potty.
I want to watch Blues Clues.
Not until you go potty.
I can't.
Do you want to wear diapers?
Nope, I wear my panties.
Yeah.

This can go on all day. I recognize the lunacy of trying to reason with someone who won't even wear underpants, yet I have to try to get her to make good decisions on her own.

The boys were very difficult on Saturday, and Dan had to work for several hours. They were completely bonkers in church. When we corrected them with verbal reprimand and extra jobs, they pulled the "poor me, you want me to be sad and die" nonsense. Total malarkey. So we added jobs for each "poor me" comment and told them that they can accept correction with a right heart, or they can work all day. One brother got it sooner than the other. Parenting with our issues requires so much consistency, and work seems to be the key for them. I need to stick to the job chart on Saturdays so that it doesn't turn into Lord of the Flies boys in underpants/costumes watching Netflix all day and treating me as a short-order cook. When I make them work, they choose to watch less tv. They find good things to do when they're no longer on the hook for chores. I don't ever intend to give them unlimited screentime, but it happens that way on the weekend if I don't get them busy with some helpful chores. I explained this to Dan today, and he said that he never would've thought of it, but it seems to be the case. Hopefully I can get everyone on board and make this family clean-up a habit. Family mess-making sure is one.

This weekend we'll have my in-laws visiting. They have offered to trade vehicles with us, a minivan for our CR-V. The cars are of similar value and condition, so it's perfect . We're looking forward to a visit with them, and we'll see them again when the baby comes. I'm headed to the OB this afternoon and am hoping for a head-down girlie!

Poor little blog

So this blog has been neglected recently because things have been crazy, and I've been blogging for the local parenting magazine. I blog about food additives, behavior, and toxins in the home. Sort of using my family's sensitivities as a case study in greener sorts of options but trying to make healthier choices accessible for a broader range of families. It's been interesting to put my writing out there to an audience of strangers.

I've also spent some time in the doctor's office taking A-man to his yearly exam, which was really positive. He had previously been thought to have ODD, but it's looking more like ADHD right now, which is easier to manage. The doctor is fine with my natural approach with melatonin-enhanced sleep for more compliance, and he's reasonably supportive of our use of supplements. He does medicate kids with our level of behavior issues (and he saw A on a good day!), but he knows it's not my preference, so he wants us to try therapy first. A-man is in the 70th for height and 55th for weight, so he's growing really well. The school routine is mostly getting easier, and the doctor even got to see him peacefully doing homework.

I checked into the hospital for a few hours of monitoring because I was having what were determined to be panic attacks. They come for no reason and leave me feeling disoriented, sweaty, and anxious. The doctor did several preterm labor tests and found no cause for concern. The trigger seems to be caffeine, which I've been off of for several days now. It is helping a lot. I only seem to get them now in moments of actual stress, but it doesn't take much. I'm doing lots of house/family stuff when I have energy, and I'm crashing when I don't. I'm able to do a bit of community stuff as well, and it's a good outlet.

I usually get into a bit of an emotional funk this time of year, likely because the reality of 8 months mostly indoors makes me anxious. I've got a better support network than a year ago, I'm not wasting my time at moms' groups where I won't find my tribe, and my home and family are more settled. My solution is lots of structured routine for the kids and lots of soup and bread for dinner. Good healthy comfort food!

Hoosier odyssey

After several weeks of Facebook private messages floating around, my siblings and I managed to coordinate a surprise party for my parents' 35th anniversary. My family drove to Anderson, Indiana, on Saturday morning and arrived at my sister's home with 30 minutes to spare. Being more Martha than Mary, I was worried that I didn't have the perishable food I needed to share for the party, and unfortunately I missed their arrival, but it was huge! Mom was shocked to see all her grandkids there, including those from GA and WV. We ate lunch at Arin's and went swimming at Mom and Dad's, where Mom whipped up dinner out of nowhere for 17 people. We hadn't made dinner plans, but we all helped get dinner going. We slept at Mom and Dad's, had lunch Sunday morning, and had a nice big photo shoot before hitting the road.

We were so blessed to be able to visit Notre Dame for a while on Sunday night and Monday morning. My best friend's babies are so sweet and so cute! Dan got some resources from the library for an upcoming paper that he's writing, and the kids and I enjoyed reconnecting with our friends who are still there. We tried hard to keep things low-key for the hostess and her new babies, especially since they've been inundated with other guests and travel of their own. The visit was just perfect!

The return trip home was less smooth, but I have to give credit to my patient little crew. We checked back at our hotel, where Dan left his iPod on the bed, but it was apparently made the property of an employee via the finders-keepers principle. Crap. Then we stopped at the store for a few items and hit the road. The Ohio state line was as far as we got before traffic came to a standstill. For at least 90 minutes. The cause appeared to be a fatal accident, judging from the wreckage when we finally passed the crash site. The kids were all incredible little troopers, watching videos and playing DS games. What I learned about travel with my kids is that A-man will most assuredly drive me bonkers unless he has headphones. If he has something to listen to, he is a very happy kid. If he doesn't, he will talk or make bizarre noises with his mouth for the entire trip! $7 well spent, my friends, and the lesson is well-learned. I will not leave the house on a long trip without headphones for him again. He could not go 15-20 seconds without speaking, interrupting, or making noise. This meant no conversation or podcasts for us, which cuts all enjoyment of the trip for us. Even with the major delays on the return trip, all was well because all 3 kids had headphones and an entertainment device. Hallelujah!

Today is all about getting the laundry caught up and getting our week back on track, a challenge since it's a busy one too! I was tempted to go to the laundromat to do it all in one shot, but that would involve hauling my laundry somewhere and probably still take too long. The tortoise and the hare lesson seems to apply here, so I'll keep at it with my slowly dying heating element in my dryer, dagnabbit.

One step forward...

Nubby had a minor potty regression this week, but is back on track. The trigger seems to be having my attention divided, particularly when the guys are home. It's just not on Dan's radar to ask or check to see if she needs to go, so I have to be extra vigilant until she gets back to alerting again. Fortunately, we have 2 months to get her back into the routine.

We've got an abundance of social things going on these days, more than we can keep up with, actually. A nice change from last fall when things got overly lonely. Nub and I went to a local beach with another family and had a lot of fun. We have open house for school tonight (not at all social) and another playdate on Friday.

The Jedis are settling into their routine, and A-man is clearly going to have a rough year. His teacher is dismissive and unpleasant. Communication with her tends to confirm every negative thing I've ever heard about Steenrod. She sees wiggly boy who can't stay on task. I know a smart boy who is a perfectionist and who is constantly working out a narrative in his head. Dude will be a writer of something. He struggles to focus on the task at hand because he really does have the channel changing inside his head all the time.

Last night I worked with him on actual homework for 45 minutes, then another 45 after dinner to work on his spelling lesson. He should ace it, but he just doesn't always understand the directions. I was sure I'd be homeschooling IM if the need arose, but school is much more of a challenge for A-man. I do feel that something is wrong when he has a teacher he doesn't like and who seems to not like him, or at least seems to be only able to focus on the negatives that she sees in class. However, I know his attitude would be better if she were more encouraging. Now that I'm on this end of the parent-teacher relationship, it's time for me to be the stereotypical parent and blame the teacher, only I usually tend to blame my kid ;). I know my boys are nutty and are a handful.

Steenrod has a tendency to try to push those kids out to protect their standardized testing scores. What they don't get in their shallow perspective is that my kids are really bright. I feel like NCLB makes drones, and my kids are just a lot more imaginative than traditional education is set up for. Still not feeling like homeschool is right for now, but I may have to make a change for A-man in January to protect my kid from hating school forever!

School begins and nesting takes over!

I'm feeling good about the Jedis' first week back to school. They balked at the routine a few times, but mostly they didn't have time to fight it now that they leave 45 minutes earlier. The bus ride isn't that long; they are just on the first run, and it does give them time to eat breakfast at school. They have the option to eat at home if they get ready in time, but A-man isn't usually hungry right away, and they eat the same stuff for breakfast at home: juice, fruit, cereal, maybe a waffle. It's $.30/day/kid and saves us a lot of hassle.

We're still working on training the Jedis to cross a small street, walk safely through a small parking lot, walk along a dead-end street, and come up our street independently. It's 3 blocks, but I can't see the whole route from home, and I want them to do it reliably by the time the baby comes. Yesterday I met them at the stop and A-man totally walked all over the place and was not at all safe. Makes me very nervous! I think he and I will go walk the route a few times today for practice. The big thing is to avoid having to wake and load a toddler and a baby to drive 3 blocks every day in the winter. I'm very nervous that I'll tumble down the stairs while holding M's hand and carrying baby sister. We've gotta make this work!

I've been able to get the guys through their homework after school as well, a policy I was unsuccessful in enforcing last year, opting instead to wait until Dr. O' was home to help me settle everyone and keep M out of the way. Now she colors or plays while I sort through papers and help the Jedis get the work done quickly so that they don't have it hanging over their heads the rest of the evening.

While my home has had its clutter mess and random disasters, I've felt good about the routine. I did a Weekly Home Blessing on Wednesday and was able to have Dr. O' bring home a new colleague for dinner, for which we had Tuscan Chard soup and Peach Crisp and, of course Caprese salad ;). I overcooked and over-diluted the soup, but it was still pretty yummy. I couldn't find my peach crisp recipe, but I found one that worked well enough, but I think it had too much butter in it. Oh, well!

Having an impromptu dinner guest over makes me notice all the grimy spots around my house, so I attacked my kitchen on Thursday and Friday, eliminating clutter and wiping and straightening everything. I have a box of papers left to sort and a few freezer shelves to scrub, but I'm nearly done. I'm going to the hardware store to see if I can find some touch-up paint for the kitchen rather than painting the whole thing. I don't think the dude we bought the house from actually left that paint here, just lots of other rusty and useless ones. Thankfully, there's a hazardous waste collection day soon!

The next project room will be the bathroom. In each room, I'm trying to freshen and clean everything, optimize storage, and make sure I can be happy with how it looks for a while since I'll be busy with 4 kids. I hope to paint the bathroom yellow and get a changing table into it to store cloth diaper paraphernalia.

My hope is to attack each room one week at a time. Our house is just starting to feel settled after a year. I think the gift of real furniture from some church friends and moving the table into the kitchen have really made me feel like making his place feel like home is possible. I've been able to keep up completely with laundry this week, and we're hoping to pick up some more free second-hand furniture this afternoon, and then we'll have more places to PUT the laundry :).

The car situation is effectively settled, but I'm not ready to share details until we have the car, which will be in a few weeks. Let me just say that God provides immensely and beyond what we could ask or think!