My Sanity Clause

Today has been one of those tremendously productive days, although you wouldn't necessarily know it to look at my home.

I chatted with my best friend, who is really one of the most magnificent people I know. I miss her all the time.

I folded and put away about 6 loads of laundry. I lost count.

I made pizza, and behold, it was very tasty.

I thoughtfully read some articles by Elizabeth Badinter, and I saw her point yet felt that she had missed THE point entirely. More on her later.

I made a real plan for weekly and monthly home management. There are several weekly tasks (mostly of the food and laundry variety) that are now in my iCal and my iPod, and I will see them every day and know what the plan is. I have specific days for shopping, for the library, and for scheduled appointments. I also have a little 10-30 minute chore for each day of the month, and those will show up on my iPod as well. It's all kind of a loose variation of the Flylady idea. We also have a chart on the wall with pull-off cards with jobs that need to be done every day (ish).

After a month of intermittent illness, I want some peace and sanity, so I spent a lot of time writing this plan. I'd call it my sanity clause, but everybody know there ain't no sanity clause ;).

Hoosier odyssey

After several weeks of Facebook private messages floating around, my siblings and I managed to coordinate a surprise party for my parents' 35th anniversary. My family drove to Anderson, Indiana, on Saturday morning and arrived at my sister's home with 30 minutes to spare. Being more Martha than Mary, I was worried that I didn't have the perishable food I needed to share for the party, and unfortunately I missed their arrival, but it was huge! Mom was shocked to see all her grandkids there, including those from GA and WV. We ate lunch at Arin's and went swimming at Mom and Dad's, where Mom whipped up dinner out of nowhere for 17 people. We hadn't made dinner plans, but we all helped get dinner going. We slept at Mom and Dad's, had lunch Sunday morning, and had a nice big photo shoot before hitting the road.

We were so blessed to be able to visit Notre Dame for a while on Sunday night and Monday morning. My best friend's babies are so sweet and so cute! Dan got some resources from the library for an upcoming paper that he's writing, and the kids and I enjoyed reconnecting with our friends who are still there. We tried hard to keep things low-key for the hostess and her new babies, especially since they've been inundated with other guests and travel of their own. The visit was just perfect!

The return trip home was less smooth, but I have to give credit to my patient little crew. We checked back at our hotel, where Dan left his iPod on the bed, but it was apparently made the property of an employee via the finders-keepers principle. Crap. Then we stopped at the store for a few items and hit the road. The Ohio state line was as far as we got before traffic came to a standstill. For at least 90 minutes. The cause appeared to be a fatal accident, judging from the wreckage when we finally passed the crash site. The kids were all incredible little troopers, watching videos and playing DS games. What I learned about travel with my kids is that A-man will most assuredly drive me bonkers unless he has headphones. If he has something to listen to, he is a very happy kid. If he doesn't, he will talk or make bizarre noises with his mouth for the entire trip! $7 well spent, my friends, and the lesson is well-learned. I will not leave the house on a long trip without headphones for him again. He could not go 15-20 seconds without speaking, interrupting, or making noise. This meant no conversation or podcasts for us, which cuts all enjoyment of the trip for us. Even with the major delays on the return trip, all was well because all 3 kids had headphones and an entertainment device. Hallelujah!

Today is all about getting the laundry caught up and getting our week back on track, a challenge since it's a busy one too! I was tempted to go to the laundromat to do it all in one shot, but that would involve hauling my laundry somewhere and probably still take too long. The tortoise and the hare lesson seems to apply here, so I'll keep at it with my slowly dying heating element in my dryer, dagnabbit.

And just like that-- summer is over!

The plan to get the Jedis out the door with Dr. O is going very smoothly! He gets up at 6, putters around and gets ready, has a little coffee with me, and gets the Jedis up at 7. Little M wakes up on her own around then. We get the boys dressed and out the door around 7:25, and then it's just M and momma for the day, at least until sister-baby arrives in about 10 weeks.

After such a struggle with the Jedis last year, I'm a little shocked at how much easier this arrangement is, but it took a lot of work and thought over the summer. We have the house in better order overall and are working to settle a few more areas. Our night-time routine is to give IM some melatonin after dinner, play and watch some shows together, do a quick clean-up and prep clothes and backpacks, and then we send kids to bed at 8. They can play or read until 9 when the room lights go out. IM has earned a reading light to use until 9:30 so that he will be quiet and let A-man sleep, but he's been falling asleep pretty soon thereafter. It's a miraculous difference! I'm waiting out this week of school to phase in zinc and omega oil supplements. Just getting to sleep sooner has made such a big difference for both boys, and only treating one with supplements has done the trick! 9 or 9:30pm to 7am seems to be the right sleep amount for their age, and they're finally getting it without us having to sit and make sure it happens.

Dr. O' and I are getting to bed sooner too, and I'm able to wake up better. Yesterday I woke up and helped the guys get out the door. I figured out a few small projects to knock out and talked to my best friend. M and I went to La Leche so she could play with her friend, and then we opted to stop for lunch at Tim Hortons (chicken salad!) on the way home. I should've put M down for a nap, but we're having trouble timing it. I kept laundry running and puttered around trying to prioritize projects without much success. At 3 it was time to pick up our Jedis from the bus stop. They were really happy with their first day and happy to come home to some Rice Krispie Treats. For the afternoon, they played with toys, told me about school, watched some shows, and cheerfully agreed to put away laundry between Netflix selections. It was smooth and nice. I made some simple chicken, home fries, and corn on the cob for dinner and got heartburn anyway. Oh well.

This brings us full circle-ish to this morning. I was able to sleep very well last night, woke up feeling great despite toddler girl's fussy morning (teething). The guys left with no trouble and in plenty of time. Dr. O' has faculty in-service this week and will be busy trying to cram in any remaining preparations for the semester.

I want to make the most of this time alone with my M. Sharing momma with the baby will be a big adjustment. She gets very bored being the only kid at home, and I can't sit and play all day. I need to figure out a few things we can play or do together and some things she can do alone with momma nearby. Making the dining room into a play area is a big step in that direction. She will play solo if I'm nearby but won't play in her room upstairs alone. This morning she watched a bit of Caillou, and then she played with play-doh at the table while I made bread and yogurt. Then she cleaned it up willingly and ran off to play trains in the dining room. She asked me to color with her, so we got a big sheet of paper and cut hearts out and colored them, which she thought was great. I'm going to try to get her down for a nap today since she's been whining quite a bit today. I'm conflicted about trying to keep naps in her schedule, but she does seem to need them from time to time.

This leaves me trying to be as productive as I can reasonably be and trying to structure my time so that I can slack off or do fun stuff when opportunities arise. Self-Discipline is what I've always struggled with, and I know I'm bound to work hard several hours a day, whether I choose to or circumstances dictate. The key is to do it in an organized and effective enough manner that I can see the rewards of my efforts and not feel guilty when I'm not as prepared as I feel I should be. The guilt is so pointless. I have a lot on my plate with high-need kids, a moms group that I do a lot with, adding Children's Chapel back in on Sundays, and having a baby here shortly. I like being busy, and I like it to be on my terms :)

Teensy Begrudging BumGenius Review

So I like Fuzzibunz diapers quite a bit. I bought the one BumGenius on a whim and thought it was okay. It would probably be better with Velcro, but I'm not a Velcro diaper fan. Fuzzibunz has snaps and adjustable elastic for a good fit, but the BumGenius has no such adjustability, just hit-or-miss snaps. It's not my favorite diaper.

That said, I bought another one yesterday. Why? Because I was thinking about how huge the pocket is for stuffing, and I thought it might work for bedtime. I put the BG 4.0 snap (Buttercream) that I bought months ago for $11 on M with both inserts and a FB newborn insert, with the snaps on the largest rise. Then I dressed her in a onesie and jammy pants and put her down for 12 hours. She had only minor wicking onto the onesie, but the pants and bed were dry. I'll admit I smelled the diaper and only got the faintest whiff of ammonia, which is important because I gave up nighttime cloth over ammonia issues in the first place. Her skin looked fine. I cancelled the next Subscribe & Save for a huge box of diapers and got another BG 4.0 snap in Zinnia for $17.95 with no shipping charges. I paid $28.95 total for the 2 BGs together thanks to some reward points I had at a cloth diaper store. The box of LUVs that were scheduled to ship would've cost me $27. The new diaper will be here soon, and I'm excited to cut another regular expense, even if we only buy disposables every 3-6 months. Maybe now we'll be done with them for M unless we travel before she potty trains. Nothing will change in the wash routine, which is cheap and occurs every other day regardless of how many diapers I throw in. 2 more nighttime diapers won't make any difference! You got me Cottonbabies. I like your diaper, but don't tell anyone!

Update: the zinnia Bumgenius 4.0 snap arrived and we've used cloth for 3 nights successfully! We have 2 so that we can have enough to wash them every other day and have a fresh one on hand each night. I'm thinking we'll need one more for a rotation for her, but she's also giving potty training another try, so I may not have a full load of diapers every other day until October. Either way, I'm happy to be minimizing our use of disposables!

Outside is good! Except for all the people...

We have been so happy to enjoy hours outdoors every day for the last few days! If only they didn't have to come in and do pointless homework :(. We've been getting crazy with chalk and bubbles and tumbling down the hill and playing in the sandbox. So much fun!

This morning I kept IM home a bit longer so he could go to an appointment with his therapist. He sat in the living room and watched PBS with M-girl this morning while I got a shower. Then I did a few house things and loaded up IM and M-girl to go to the appointment. We had the $.75 ready to pay the weird parking attendant who stalks people in the parking lot (not his fault, they just have the parking lot set up strangely). We got upstairs and past the first waiting room remarkably quickly and then checked in at the therapist's office only to find out that the secretary had written today on the card but had entered tomorrow into her computer. She and I have an awful lot of misunderstanding, and the blame doesn't seem to lie with me as she seems to be in flustered minor conflict with everyone I see her speak with. She tried to fit us in, but the therapist had a new client and couldn't make any adjustments. We rescheduled for just before he sees the doctor in the same office, saving ourselves a copay. The only real problem was that IM was worried he'd be in trouble for not being in school or going to an appointment, so the secretary wrote an excuse, and I attached the appointment card to it. No worries on the school's end, but it was kinda funny since he goes to this office to alleviate his anxiety, not to increase it!

I dropped IM off at school and stopped by Dr. O's office to share my latest fiasco. Then M and I made a quick stop at the big park where she played until she got a significant boo-boo that panicked her. We returned home, where she held a wipe on her little knee scrape for 2 hours as she ate lunch and watched too much Caillou before going down for a late nap.

I worked on laundry, started the breadmachine, hung diapers in the sun, and did some minor clean-up before getting my small dose of sun for the day. My neighbor was in a foul mood and was cursing pretty badly at another neighbor two doors down, but I decided to continue doing what I wanted to do. I kept my door open, played some music, and made some noise so he'd know I could hear him. It usually works, and he did calm down. Worst case scenario is for me to yell his first name, and then he's extremely apologetic and quiet for days.

Neighbors are the only fly in the ointment of our summertime outdoor fun. Two doors down, the neighbor's girlfriend wants to be my buddy, and it's just not gonna happen. The only thing we appear to have in common is that M-girl and her son are the same age, but M is very shy only interested in parallel play at best. Neighbor girl has no clue about the fine art of playdating, a series of rituals and norms that moms who want to hang out have to observe. I have a fourth on the way, loads of work to do, partial bedrest hours to comply with, and a parenting philosophy that I know would be either off-putting or carnival-attraction-strange to her. She's already commented on the cloth diapers on my line. I should probably get one playdate at the little park down the street out of the way and hope she doesn't ask again.

I have friends who make all kinds of parenting choices, and I support them gladly. However, most of my mom friends and I have at least SOME things in common. Neighbor girl yells at her little boy a lot, her boyfriend owns a discount tobacco store, they have two sattelite receivers on their obviously sagging roofline, and yet he drives a luxury car. They are just very different from us, upwardly-mobile Appalachian perhaps, and I don't want to spend awkward time with people I know we don't have anything in common with AND who constantly argue with our mutual neighbor. My goal is to be kind and to live a peaceful life with my family in order to maintain a decent Christian testimony, but I don't have to be every mom's friend.

Neighbor troubles aside, we enjoyed four hours outdoors. While I moved laundry, the kids fixed their own snack out back, using up the better part of a box of Honey Nut Chex, yet they were surprisingly hungry for dinner. We loved grilling dinner and eating outdoors last night, and by then the bugs and humidity were minimal. M looked like she was trying out for a part in Shrek XVII thanks to a coating of sweat and green sidewalk chalk dust. We rounded out the night with fruit salad, homework, and baths. Can't wait until school is out!

Will the state take my blog away if I keep neglecting it??

Last week felt long but went by fast in the way that busy weeks with small children often do. We found that our plan to get through the week with maximum productivity for Dan really went off very smoothly. The house was in chaos, but everyone was clean and well-fed, and the biohazards didn't get the upper hand, or at least not for long. (An incident in which M-girl removed her diaper during naptime was indeed harrowing but does not bear retelling. Suffice it to say that an Allen wrench and disinfectant were required before all was declared clean.).

Saturday did not begin at the lazy pace that it typically does thanks to Dr. O's observation that we were living in a cluttered mess. We got everyone started picking up items to put away upstairs so that Dr. O' could vacuum downstairs after he loaded the dishwasher. The Jedis put away their toys while M and I put her trashed room back together. By then Dan was ready to vacuum the upstairs, so we headed back downstairs to wipe down the bathroom. The Jedis do a great job shining the bathroom sink and wiping down the toilet, and I gave the shower a quick scrub and wiped the mirror. Then I-M mopped the kitchen and bath. I changed mop cloths and damp mopped the hardwood and laminate in the LR, DR, and our room. The Jedis emptied trash cans and ran items back to their places. All this took an hour and a half. This is why a small house works for us! Dr. O' went for a few things at the grocery and came home with an enormous thank-you bouquet for my being so willing to keep things under control at home while he put in some 10-12 hour days. Very sweet! He had to return to campus from 1-5 to give two exams, and the kids and I enjoyed a mellow afternoon.

Sunday morning we enjoyed coffee in bed and then Dr. O' prepared bacon, eggs, and cinnamon rolls for breakfast. We enjoyed a peaceful breakfast together and got ready for church. My lesson in the chapel was about how stubborn and disobedient God's people were in the desert, just as we are prone to be. They took the first chance they could to cast an idol to worship while Moses was on Mt. Sinai receiving the 10 commandments, the first of which was not to worship anything but God.

At home we ate a ziti that my husband had put in the oven before church. Then we put M down for a nap and told the Jedis not to play loudly so we could rest. For dinner he grilled a steak for me and the kids, and it was so good! When I'm expecting, I crave red meat! We had some yummy sides and peach crisp for dessert. The kids played all evening in the yard as we watched, chatted, and called our moms. I was catatonic by 8pm!

This morning I managed to get moving rather quickly and got everything from the morning rush put away. I thoroughly cleaned my kitchen counters and restarted a laundry load that had failed to make it past the washer since Saturday evening. I played out back, rested in the sun a bit, and put M down for her nap. The house was in B+ shape, which is fine because I can't have it perfect or I get cranky when little persons mess it up. I started brainstorming and decided to take the kids to the zoo this afternoon. I had time to be organized and feel ready for the adventure. I put out my intention on FB and got another momma to join us. However, I didn't know until we arrived that THE ZOO CLOSES AT 4. We got there at 3:30. Fortunately, everyone was fairly game to move the whole shebang to Wheeling Park, where we stayed until nearly 6! Such a perfect day to play! We came home to a freshly-cut lawn and leftover ziti. The kids are out back screaming like monkeys and getting covered in grass stains. Homework is increasingly difficult to get them to start on with these beautiful days, but they sleep so soundly after wind sprints up an down the grassy hill. Happy times.

Facebook is quicker, but blogging is dandy

So the Jedis went to school on Tuesday after many days off, and the return to routine has been good. I am a happier mom when things are at least a bit more consistent, and they're happier too. M-girl came down with a tummy flu on Wednesday morning, vomiting all over a pile of clean clothes that I had been putting off sorting for size and season. So I washed those in addition to quite a bit more laundry. Then our water turned orange and ruined a few things, but mostly socks. Apparently the water issue had to do with the fire dept doing hydrant maintenance and stirring up sediment. This was the worst we'd seen of this phenomenon, but at least our drinking water is well filtered enough to not be orange. I went to the water dept and got some mineral remover for appliances and fixtures. The water is fine now, and I'll be cleaning the washer tonight.

M also has really bad diaper rash from her flu problems, and she woke up from a nap with it so bad that she screamed for over half an hour before we went to get the boys. I just got a call from the doc saying I can put prescription burn cream on it. Great! It's soothing, it has antibacterial medicine in it, and the cream wipes on and off pretty easily, and I have an unopened jar from my burn in November. Her bum looks very painful! As a precaution, I'm doing a long hot soak of her diapers with double detergent and oxiclean to sanitize them. I have enough disposables on hand to get by, and I might as well use them so I don't get cream built up on the diapers.

The best part of today so far has been a visit to the obstetrician this morning. Dr.O' had some time to join me this morning, and I was so glad he did! We timed the drive and got there in 11 minutes. We were in the exam room with the nurse quickly. I had stayed the same weight since he last visit but had gained 2 pounds since my first visit there. I'm guessing I've put on about 8 pounds. The nurse probed my belly extensively with the Doppler but could not find the heartbeat, unusual at nearly 14 weeks! The normally chatty nurse got very quiet and went to get the doctor. Dan came and grabbed my hand and I cried a few tears. We agreed that we'd be okay. Sad, but okay. If this baby just wasn't going to be with us, we would accept that God is sovereign. Lots of drama, I know, but the nurse seemed concerned, and I've never felt quite certain in this pregnancy. The doctor came in and immediately put the ultrasound wand to my belly, where the baby's beating heart was going strong. We saw what my late grandfather would've termed a "well-formed head", a long spinal column, little limbs, tiny kidneys, a face in profile. Stunning. Fragile yet strong. Amazing. Life is beautiful! I'm going to feel a wee bit of anxiety until this person is in my arms and at my breast, and then I'll have the usual lifetime of Generalized Motherhood Anxiety that I already have for my other fantastic little people. I can manage that just fine!

Cozy Days In

I like snow days much better than delays and early dismissal because we don't have the stress of getting kids out the door.  I like them even better when I've cleaned beforehand.  Another "snowstorm" has hit Ohio County, WV.  This one is kinda bad, with snowmelt that froze solid, topped with 5 inches of fluffy snow.  The Jedis had an early dismissal yesterday, and their school is cancelled today.   Dr. O's university is also on a delay today, but he went in at the same time, opting to leave me the car in case of an emergency.  We have a load of clean diapers, plenty of milk, plenty of pizza ingredients, plenty of snacks, and plenty of energy on their part, which I'll put to good use keeping things from getting out-of-hand here.  The Jedis are going to earn privileges today by putting away their laundry and doing tasks as they become necessary. 

Things started out a little nutty here with someone sassing Momma and the Jedis trying to sneak breakfast into the living room.  A-man spilled Cheerios with frozen berries and milk on the living room hardwood floor, and I was tempted to get really angry.  I kept my annoyance in check and helped him clean up, thankful that I had put half the berries back in the bag before serving it to him.  I talked to the boys about how much easier our days at home will be if we all take care of the house, and I think they took it to heart.  I-M had pronounced our home to be "immaculate!" yesterday, and I told them that an immaculate house isn't important, but keeping things neat will keep the yuckiness from taking over! 

Laundry Nirvana, or How I Learned How to Stop Worrying and Love the Mound

I have always been bad at carrying the laundry tasks through to completion. I married while in college at age 21 and lived in a place with terrible water, so we ended up using the laundromat. That was helpful in getting me organized about laundry, and I liked that it all got done and put away. When we moved and had city water and a new w/d, I became a laundry slacker. I let loads sit wet overnight, I forgot softener, I dried pens and chapstick, and I used a LOT of detergent. Laundry PILED UP because we were both grad students and both commuting 40 minutes each way in different directions. After that, we had children, and I had their tiny laundry piling up as well. As much as I wanted to cloth diaper them, I could barely keep my head above water with 2 little boys 18 months apart. I wish I had known that diapers would later become the key for laundry nirvana for us!

Cloth diapers require very simple detergent with no artificial additives because these can cause residue, rashes, and funk, and the same thing goes for fabric softeners. When I was expecting M, I knew it was time to try cloth, so I researched detergents and found Charlie's Soap. I learned that even switching back and forth between commercial laundry soap and natural detergent can still result in residue getting dumped onto the diapers. So we have a 5-gallon bucket of Charlie's Soap powder, and we use it for EVERYTHING except delicates. Check it out on Amazon, where I can often find it for $100 for the bucket, which lasts at least 6 months, if not a year.

The diaper pail is in the basement next to the washer. This forces me to go downstairs multiple times per day to put a diaper into the bucket. While I'm there, I might as well sort the pile of dirty laundry at the bottom of the stairs, move stuff to the dryer, start a new load, and bring the clean clothes upstairs (remembering a basket helps!). I do a quick run around the house in the morning looking for stray dirty laundry in each room, and I toss it down the basement stairs.

Why is my laundry pile at the bottom of the stairs? My whole family can easily toss things down the stairs. It is the one place where I can guarantee that everyone can follow through on putting dirty laundry where it goes, and I don't have to look at it unless I'm doing laundry. The boys are learning to sort as well and can empty the dryer and bring the laundry upstairs. The Dog & Baby Show wait for me at the top of the stairs every time, and just as I reach the top, M slams the door in my face. Every time. It's a game for some reason.

The clean laundry is my weak spot! I lack focus to stay with it until it gets put away, and here I call on lot of help! I put the pile of clean laundry on our bed and sort the clothes into baskets for M, the Jedis, linens (we don't use paper towels here, so there's a lot), and our clothes. I get towels, wash clothes, and linens put away first because they're easy and always needed. The Jedis and I put their clothes away every few days, and I put M's away. Dr. O' hangs up his load, or I do it. We don't have a closet, so our clothes hang on a bar in the basement, so it's actually easier to hang clothes straight from the dryer. I grab the diaper load during M's naptime since it gets dried every other morning. I stuff the pocket diapers and leave them in their basket in the bathroom. That load also has the cloth wipes in it, so I stuff those into a wipes box by the sink.

Here's my wash routine:
- 4 loads of darks per week, cold water, 2T Charlie's
- 2 loads of lights per week, warm water, 2T Charlie's
- 1-2 loads of colors per week, cool water (reds, pinks, oranges, and yellows), 2T Charlie's
- 1 load of Dr. O's work clothes and my church clothes per week, cold water, gentle cycle, dry low, 2oz EcoStore liquid (I buy it at Meijer whenever I'm in Indiana), which smells deliciously like eucalyptus
- 3 loads of diapers and wipes per week, cold wash, hot wash in 4T Charlie's Soap, then an extra rinse, tumble dry low or line dry.

Note that I don't use softener. You don't need it if you use a residue-free detergent. It's the residue that makes your clothes stiff or scratchy, and softener is like laminating a layer of grime onto your clothes. Static can be remedied with wool dryer balls.