Dynamic parenting

I am the momma of kids who like routine. I like routine, too! The challenge is setting up routines and rules that fit with our family's priorities and are appropriate for the children's development. What I love is that as the parent, I can change the routine when it's not working. I don't have to do what any other family is doing or what any book suggests, but I can if I want to! There's tremendous freedom in being in touch with what my family needs and in adapting my parenting to suit our current phase.

The Jedis have a habit of staying up in their room and reading or playing until they finally conk out. It's awful, but we've had trouble figuring out what else to do without resorting to harsh punishment. The best solution is to stay in their room until they fall asleep, which cuts into our couple time. However, it makes a tremendous difference to A-man to have momma cuddle him in bed at night. I-M is the major culprit in the late-night partying, and A-man would gladly fall asleep sooner, I think. We've known this was the best solution, but it takes discipline to go up and do this every night. Now I'm falling asleep beside my A-man and getting up around 9:30 or 10 and moving to my bed. I take my iPod so that I have something to listen to while the boys settle down, and I really enjoy that time with them! I need to work some Bible stories into that routine as well.

The major benefit of this enforced bedtime is that the boys wake on their own around 6:45. I help them dress, and they quickly eat breakfast. Previously, we had to wake them and dress them while they woke up, and they gave us a hard time about choosing what breakfast to eat, and they dawdled through breakfast time.

Their reward for going to sleep earlier and for getting up cheerfully on school days is that they have about 30 minutes to play in their rooms. Any time they spend fussing comes out of their playtime instead of my time getting them out the door. I give them warnings as it gets closer to time to leave, and they can lose the next day's playtime if they are not obedient when it's time to go.

I like that my children can see that if a routine or rule isn't working, we can work together to change it. I love that they are learning about responsibility for their own morning routine. I especially love that the chaos can be tamed with a few little changes!

So spring might be coming.

Today will get progressively warmer and melt the snow that fell so suddenly a few days ago. Snowmelt is one thing, but on top of that, I've been hearing about heavy rainshowers, which in the Ohio River Valley are no joke.

Even Wheeling Creek, which is adjacent to campus and many of the other places we frequent, is known to flood quickly and destroy property. We live on the "wet side" of our hill, which means we do get some water in our basement, but usually no more than I can mop up with several towels. Not actually as bad as a Village sink back-up on the ground floor over Thanksgiving break -- that's bad! Rotten potato peels from someone else's kitchen = bad. Thankfully, we have a good dehumidifier here that I finally figured out how to get a drain hose into so that we don't have to haul the bucket across the basement.

The deer out my back window have been on the move and scrounging for food, and I threw some wheat berries (that Mara had spilled on the floor) over the fence to help them out. I think the squirrels got the bulk of them. Naughty things!

Wiggles and Joseph

The Jedis had no school Friday or today, and I-M was home Thursday due to illness. It was one of the longer stretches with everyone at home, and it was really nice! Everyone has paired off in different ways throughout the day. Arts and crafts (including a checkered racing flag), reading books, playing Wii, making some food, watching movies, playing with the shop-vac in the basement-- we've been up to some wackiness. No snow to sled on out back, but lots of mud! Kind of a bummer that all of the nice weather didn't come over this break, but the kids were all a little too sick to get out and enjoy it anyway. So we've been trying to get the wiggles out indoors.

Our series on Joseph in the Children's Chapel has begun. We've covered how Abraham's family uses tricks/lies to get what they want instead of relying on God. They also showed partiality for one family member, like a wife over other wives or a child over his siblings. These two bad habits get Abraham and his children into trouble for generations. Plus, they're temptations that we all face!

I bought a nice set of Playmobil Egypt toys to set the scene, and I found a bolt of cheap fabric to serve as the desert for $3. We have the temple/Pharaoh's palace, the Sphinx, and a Bible-era block house with a well out back for Jacob's house. (It will work well as the house where people lower their paralytic friend down through the roof to be healed by Jesus.) We have covered Joseph's dreams and his coat of many colors, followed by his brothers throwing him down a well and subsequently selling him as a slave.

This past Sunday we covered Joseph's purchase by Potiphar, and then Potiphar's wife's attempt to seduce him. I covered this carefully and explained that as a married woman, I shouldn't kiss other men like I kiss my husband, and I shouldn't give my heart to other men. Potiphar's wife was trying to kiss Joseph and give her heart to him and be unfaithful to her husband. Joseph ran from her, but left behind his cloak. Joseph wanted to be faithful to God and trusted that God would help him, and this faith was tested when he was put in jail. Tough subject, but I promised them that God would honor Joseph's right choice.

Over the next several weeks, we will cover each of the events in Joseph's life leading to the Israelites moving to Egypt. Then we will discuss the life of Moses and the Exodus. This will lead us to the Passover, which was the holiday Jesus was observing when He instituted communion. I like the idea of linking these stories of deliverance and sacrifice in the Old and New Testaments.

Joseph has always been my favorite Bible story. Anyone else want to share one?


EDIT: We just got snow dumped on us! It's the weirdest storm with snow and lightening! Of course, this has triggered a school delay, which will most assuredly become a cancellation. Glad we've been having good days!

Low-level Crud-ness

We've been around plenty of germs this winter and have been hit hard a few times, but we've been better than usual since we're not battling Village germs (on top of church and school and grocery store germs). You know, the mutant kind that people leave behind in the community center KNOWING that their kid is sick, but they just HAD to get out of the house. Thanks. I remember asking someone whose kid had actively-fevering HFMD "but why are you HERE?" (sick child had hand in bag of marshmallows during a bonfire, contaminating the whole bag).

I think another factor in our better health has been that we're eating so much yogurt! We've been eating at least a quart a day for a while, and the yogurt I've been making has 6 different cultures in it, which helps digestive health, which in turn promotes better overall health! We load our smoothies up with yogurt and lots of good berries and high-Vit.C fruit.

Now that the weather is nice, we have been hit with some low-level sickness, the kind that is hard to pinpoint because it could have multiple causes. I-M threw up on his bed on Tuesday, but that's not unusual; he throws up. I sent him to school the next morning and later took him to an appointment where he got nauseous, but it was hot and they were painting the hallways. A-man said his tummy hurt and he had a very low fever, but that's about it for him. Dr. O' is a bit under the weather. My throat hurts, which kinda makes me want a cold beer. At 11am. It would be very soothing, but I'm not going to do it. M-girl is a snotty mess and has been sleeping for 4 hours today. She screamed at me all morning, so here's hoping she wakes up pleasant. None of us are unwell enough to seek out medical attention, so we'll just ride it out for a few days. I was bracing myself for a monster plague, but it seems to only be a minor virus. I'll take it after 2 months of nearly perfect health since right before Christmas.

We missed out on our date tonight, but I'm okay with that. Don't want our kind undergrads to get sick! I have a cozy and pleasant and completely gaga and passionate (yeah, I said it) relationship with my husband. A night out would be great, but a night in can be pretty sweet.

Packed-out week

Dr. O' was busy throughout this week with teaching, grading, and helping with the interview process for a new moral theology hire. There were a couple of nights when he didn't get home until the kids' bedtime.

I had Bible Study Wednesday after M's ER visit. The Jedis had school cancelled Tuesday and delayed Wednesday and Thursday. Friday night was our only peaceful night at home, and our house was remarkably clean.

Saturday night we spent with 2 WJU families, and it was a very nice dessert night with kids running around and playing like they've known each other forever.

We had church this morning and stayed until nearly everyone was gone, as is typical for our family. Tonight we had 3 undergrad girls over for Sofrito Fajitas on whole wheat tortillas, brown rice with peppers, onions, and Adobo and chipotle seasonings, and seasoned black beans. My goal was to create a Chipotle-style dinner, and it turned out great. Dessert was chocolate waffles topped with ice cream.

This week I-M has 2 medical/therapeutic appointments for which I think he'll be happy to miss some school. The good news is that he's reached half of his deductible for the year. I'm looking forward to attacking the remaining paint on our stairway, doorframes, and baseboards. Hooray for the Blatts who are loaning me a Dremel to get the job done! Later in the week, the undergrads are coming to babysit for the kids, and I think we're going to the symphony!

Happy thoughts on a Friday

1. M-girl is just fine if a little more grumpy after her cart incident, but this girlie is getting 5 teeth right now and is a month shy of 2 years.  So grumpitude is to be expected.
2. Dr. O's very long week is over, and a candidate has been selected for the opening in his dept.  We're praying that the candidate will accept.  It's a good sign that the candidate is praying over it this weekend as well.
3. There was sunlight left as Dr. O' got home today, and 40's and 50's are predicted for next week!
4. I have a very clean house, with laundry done and put away. Yes, I'm exhausted, and I'm nuts. 
5. We will be hanging out with other WJU families tomorrow night, and WJU girls will be coming over on Sunday to meet the kids.
6. I raided the old Sunday School lessons at church today. I found some for the Joseph through Moses series that we'll be doing from now through Lent as a prelude to Passover, the holy day that Jesus was observing when He gave us the sacrament of communion. 
7. Today was neither a delay nor a cancellation.
8. My best friend is expecting twins this summer! 
9. My blog keeps me in touch with so many lovely people and helps me to share the real stuff that happens in the life of a momma.  It's been read all over the world, mostly because my friends are all over the world now doing amazing things for God and humanity.
10. My children are giggling and playing happily tonight! Best sound I've ever heard!

Oh, so you're THAT mom!

What the heck is that supposed to mean?  I have gotten it a lot.  I'm well aware that I get categorized as a certain kind of mother. Being my make-it-from-scratch self, I've offered neighbor kids popsicles made from yogurt that I cultured and made into a smoothie.  What? They were GOOD popsicles!  I've gotten it for my advocation of extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, and natural birthing.  I just love to learn about things that make a difference in my family's life, and I find that the most natural ways of doing things are often the best for us.  I've been THAT mom for making it look easy while inwardly losing my mind, too.  That was just pride.

I've been THAT mom for unpraiseworthy reasons, too.  I've been the mom who screams in exasperation, who has thrown things, who lets her kid run around in diapers 'til he's 4 because I wasn't up for the fight (no regrets on that one!).  I've been the mom whose kid freaks out about every change in life. What could I expect when I was freaking out?  I've seen this message in people's eyes as my child throws yet another public tantrum, but I learned how to manage those with a calm that helped my child melt into my arms and know he was safe.  I've learned to tell myself that "those who mind don't really matter, and those who matter don't really mind". 

Today I was THAT mom for some wildly divergent reasons.  I've mentioned our school delay woes, and today was a delay for frigid temps. Seems to me that cold temperatures should be expected in winter, but I digress.  This morning A-man was in a 4-alarm temper fire and locked himself in the bathroom when it was nearly time to leave.  He and I have engaged one another as worthy and well-matched opponents in some serious battles of the will.  But NOT today.  I kept doing what I needed to do and left him there until the last minute.  Then I calmly unlocked the door, spoke gently, and prayed with him.  Revelatory!  I don't HAVE to fight him.  I can WIN by being peaceful and loving.  And in the end, he's sorry and asking my forgiveness, and I can pray with him because I haven't tossed my credibility out the window by losing my cool.  That's when we both lose, anyway. 

I was also THAT mom today when my toddler fell head-first out of a shopping cart today.  Yeah.  She can undo/shimmy out of the buckles with no trouble, so the upper basket is more of a concern for me because it's further to fall, and the momentum of fighting the seatbelt could launch her 23lb frame pretty far.  So I had her in the big basket section and was having to remind her frequently to sit down, and she was briefly obeying.  I was having trouble finding an important item, an item which is nowhere near as important as my precious daughter.  I'm grieving that I didn't do something different, but I watched her tumble out head first onto a hard tiled floor.  She screamed, she bled slightly from her mouth where her teeth punctured tender skin, and some random stranger YELLED AT ME.   I didn't even bother to respond.  I was THAT BAD MOM in that moment, and I knew it. 

I took her to Wheeling Hospital, pinching her awake along I-70.  She is absolutely fine and didn't need a CAT scan. Her momma is less fine but will certainly recover if I can get this picture out of my head someday.  I think all of us are THAT mom at some point.  We're all at our shining best and our shame-filled worst depending on circumstances, some of which we can never control.